How to be “kind and brave”… on email?!

5 Feb

It sounds impossible, right? Email is great for many things, but isn’t renowned as the most socially-emotionally helpful or intelligent form of communication.

So imagine that you have something to communicate with your whole organization, and waiting for the next all-hands meeting is not the best option to address what’s happening now. How do you write that email? What do you say?

Below is how a colleague shared their concern about reducing Black History Month to a superficial #acknowledgment:

Despite the fact that our school days are busy and fast-paced, please read the following email when you have a few minutes to process it deeply and slowly.

Each person processes things differently, and I do not pretend to speak for all black people, but I have a visceral reaction to the idea of showy Black History Month activities at our school.  Perhaps I’ll write an essay to more fully explore my feelings and thoughts when I have time to analyze thoroughly, but the root of my feelings is that most of the people at our school do not know about or care about black people or black history. Most go through their day without seeing black people in their classes, perhaps aside from one or two tokens if they happen to luck into a particularly “diverse” schedule. Out of nine years at our school, I have had multiple years with no black students in my classes.  Most people at our school, due to life circumstances, have not thought about blackness beyond the idea that “we should not judge people by the color of their skin,” have not learned anything about blackness, and are not affected when terrible things happen to black people.

For our students to broadly receive and display black history stickers feels to me like the wearing of unearned merit badges that falsely signal commitment to, and knowledge about, something that includes rich beauty, pain, sacrifice, risk, patience, death, resilience, accomplishment, isolation, and unfairness about which the vast majority of people at our school have no idea.

The world of identity is complex, but I find the distribution of stickers within the context of our school to be a disingenuous, platitudinous, shallow, inauthentic, and irreverent microaggression.

With that said, I am proud of some things we are accomplishing at our school.  Among them:

  • our guidance offices will soon have pennants from historically black colleges and universities (HBCU’s);
  • our curricular materials are becoming more inclusive;
  • some of us are thinking about reducing achievement and opportunity gaps.

There is much more work to be done.  Even after we become more equitable and inclusive, though, I’m still not sure most people at our should be handed a fashionable sticker signaling that they actually care about black history.

Thanks for your slow, thoughtful reading of this email.  Feel free to discuss it with each other and/or with me when I have the emotional energy to do so.

Have a great day!

I, for one:

  • appreciate the direction for when and how to read this email (given the “click and send” default culture of emailing);
  • am grateful that my colleague wrote it, even though they were still processing and email wasn’t the perfect format… because it was more important to say something than it was to say it perfectly;
  • appreciate their pointing to specific actions, and why the stickers are problematic while other actions are helpful; and
  •  respect their offer of follow up when they “have the emotional energy to do so.” It’s a simple recipe what they can offer and what they need.

Thanks to this colleague, for taking the time with their community, and (selfishly) for the modeling.

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